[10 Dec 2009|08:41pm] premnonic I'm really scared. Things haven't been going the way I want them too, they're not necessarily bad. I just can't talk to my boyfriend right now without thinking he's attacking. I know he's not. He just won't give up. Maybe I just need some air, I'd like to be able to ask for that without being on a bad level. I know he will give me space to breath. It's just I don't want to hate him cause he got a movie deal. I don't want him to think negative of it. He deserves that. I'm just scared he'll forget me. Lame. I know, but with everything else less to my wanting I can't stop. He came all the way here to see me...why can't I stop being a bitch. I'm so scared I force everyone who loves me away. I'm scared to even be happy...will it all just be taken away again My aunt kicked me out cause she thought I was a prostitute...oh the good old days. lol I really need to get happy or end it. I think I just need time to myself...maybe. I'm really trying Jesus Saves us

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